I Hate Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Have you ever had a night where you had so much on your mind that you couldn’t sleep?

Every now and again I have one of those nights.  The last one I had made me think about something that I don’t like to deal with in personal interactions:  passive-aggressive behavior.

I’ve always been a person that likes to deal with issues directly yet respectfully.  Open, honest, transparent communication is always best when trying to get your point across to the other party.  However, I’m learning that people aren’t comfortable with direct communication and are more comfortable with communication by proxy.  This type of communication is preferred by individuals who don’t want to face the person they are having an issue with and resolve the issue amongst themselves.  My questions is what concerns you so much that you have to go to third party and get them to address your issues?

I’m learning how to navigate these types of interactions better but I still don’t like that they occur.  I’ve been told that it is a regional thing but I don’t want to subscribe to that.

He Looked Beyond My Faults – Organ Music For Nana and Mama

While I was getting ready for choir rehearsal tonight, I thought about a song my mama used to sing when I was growing up. She sang in the church and my dad played the piano in church. She had a way of singing “He Looked Beyond My Faults” that if you weren’t careful it would make the hair stand up on your neck. I tried to capture some of that with this attempt of playing the song on a Hammond B3 organ. The only issue I had is that the pedal board went out at the end of this video but we made up for it. It is great to reflect on great times in your life and music helps me encapsulate those moments.

Lunch Time Piano Break

I love to take my lunch break and go to the nearby music store. There are Yamaha and Steinway pianos there and I love the sound of the baby grand pianos.

I took a break the other day and played some John Legend on a $64,000 Steinway piano and it sounded like a million dollars to me. I have to get back there and play some more in the near future.

The Gift of Making Music When You Want

Colorful-Music-Wallpapers-55

I’ve been a musician for almost 40 years and it is one the best gifts I could have ever received.  My dad was church musician and he played the guitar and the piano for a small congregation when I was growing up.  He passed away when I was 7 but I was able to receive some of that talent from him.  My brother also is a musician who received some of that gift as well.

Over the years I’ve performed, written, and enjoyed music in different venues.  I’ve played in concert bands, marching bands, community bands, and small club groups.  I’ve recorded and produced music and continue to compose in the comfort of my own home.  All of this was possible by the wonderful gift of music I received at an early age.

I got my first paying ‘gig’ when I was 12 years old.  I started playing for my church for the children’s choir.  I remember getting $30 a month to play the piano (I was a rich in my mind).  I currently play the keyboard for a local church and continue to enjoy serving other through my music.

If you are interesting in hearing some of the music I’ve writing check out my Soundcloud account at https://soundcloud.com/david-edgerton-jr.  Let me know what you think.

 

 

NSDate *now = [NSDate date]

Okay,…the title of this post is one line of Objective-C code that I working on as I go through a book on the programming language.  The reason I used the code as a title is because just looking at the syntax reminded me of something else. 

The variable being set in the line of code is now.  All the code does is initialize a container so it can hold a date.

Then I thought about a quote I either heard someone say or read somewhere.  “The best time to plant a tree is 20 years old.  The next best time is now.”  

So if there is something you want to do in life then just start.  The best time is 20 years old but the next best time is now.  So now I’m learning how to write code for IOS apps.   Now I’m learning about predictive analytics.   Now I’m doing the things I want to do that take time and I’m not having regrets for starting way back when.

If I Were 22 Again, I Wouldn’t Change A Thing

22 years old was a fun age and busy time for me. I got married that year and was finishing up my undergraduate electrical engineering degree. My lovely wife just graduated with a BA degree and got her first job working for a non-profit. At the time I worked multiple part-time jobs while going to school full-time.

While it seemed to be a lot going it was one of the best times of my life. Getting married early proved to be a wise decision because it helped me be centered on starting a wonderful journey with someone who believed in the same goals and had the same dreams I had. The sacrifices made to be together while establishing the foundation for the future was scary yet exciting.

If I were to give advice to anyone it would be the following:

  1. If you can, find that special person earlier than later. It is harder to bring together two lives that have already established how things are going to be and what is and is not going to be tolerated. When you get together at a young age, all you have is each other so anything that comes into your lives is something you built together and you can share with each other.
  2. Be clear and focused on your goals but realize it will take time to get there.Looking back there were many things I wanted to do but I had to learn that everything has a cost in money, time, or experience. I made personal goals for the family that we began to establish the foundation to achieve but we realized that it would take an investment on our part to get there.
  3. Go outside your comfort zone and challenge yourself to learn new things.While you may have a handle on what you want to do at 22, you should always be open to try new things and have new experiences. I learned that over time some of the experience and learning I did in one area of my life could be applied to other area. Trying new things helps you be open to change and if you eventually find that special someone you are going to need to know how to implement change.

20 or more years later I am still with that same someone, I continue to focus on goals that we share together, and I continue to try new things and apply what I learn to other areas in my life. I’ve had such a great journey I don’t think I would change a thing. Someone said, “Live life so that you don’t have any regrets.” I think I have done that up to now and will continue to do it in the future.

Maya Angelou Memory

I just learned that Maya Angelou passed away today. 

I remember dating my lovely wife of 20 years Michelle Edgerton when we were in college. Dr. Angelou was teaching a class at Wake Forest University during that time and Michelle was one of her students. There was a gathering at her home for the students and I was able to come with Michelle to visit Dr. Angelou.

While I was there she had a piano and I sat down to play. I remember Dr. Angelou saying the music was beautiful and that it soothed the soul. Then everyone left and went back to campus.

That was a special moment to be in her presence. I am forever grateful for that opportunity.

Trying to Blog and Write More

Lately I’ve been trying to write more in general.  It is difficult for me to do a lot of writing but I’ve had some fun writing comments to posts on Linkedin and other social media networks.  Commenting on existing posts and opinions has been refreshing because the topic is being presented and you have the opportunity to respond with your perspective.

I had a small sparring match with author on his post recently that I thought was healthy for me.  The author had a title that I thought was misleading so I called him on it respectfully.  My intent was not to start a war with words but to state a position based on what was presented and make my point.  As expected, the author responded respectfully in disagreement to my points so I continued to make statement with supporting information.

Later in the exchange he pointed to an article to back his point.  After reading the article I pointed to a data source to show how his argument was not true and reiterated my points.  And then there was silence.

Did I win?  I don’t think it was about winning.  I think it was more about having a voice and being able to convey your ideas even if they don’t align with the other person.  I never acted unprofessionally or disrespectfully and the author didn’t either so I thought that is how disagreement can play out.  I will continue to find opportunities to write and hopefully get better at defending my position.